Birds of Relocation – Track 5: Voices
I started seeing a counselor (Al Andrews of Porter’s Call, a blessing and a gift to many full-time artists here in Nashville) in late 2010. It was crucial for me to seek help. He and I talked through my many issues, the biggest being my terribly low self-esteem, a result of my haste to listen to the foul, belligerent voices in my head that speak to and yell at me. I was at a point where I could no longer tell the difference between God’s voice and those that lie to me. I had been suffering anxiety and an inability to think clearly, to physically move, or to make any actual decisions. I was a frozen, confused monster. At one point during these counseling sessions, Al noticed and remarked that I was choosing to love the things that hate me the most. For homework, he asked me to write down all the things the plaguing voices regularly tell me and write a song about them. This is that song. I suspect that if the vile voices haunt me, there’s a good chance they haunt you too.
“Voices”
Voices, when I listen to the voices
Every shroud of anger is sorrow in disguise
The voices, when I believe the voices
That convince me I am worthless, bent on my demise
Hear, oh hear the saints’ and angels’ voices
Everything about my weakness that is strong
Everything about the heart that could go wrong
Every hope that ever lived there but has since flown
I’m finding again, finding again
In the garden, when we lived inside the garden
Creatures bright and shining, we were, dust brought to life
In the silence, when we lean into the silence
We choose the things that hate us most, and rest upon the lies
Everything about my weakness that is strong
Everything about the heart that could go wrong
Every hope that ever lived there but has since flown
I’m finding again, finding again
We choose to love the things that hate us most
Everything about our weakness that is strong
Everything about our heart that has gone wrong
Every light that ever shone in darkened halls
Is shining again, I’m finding again
Oh, the voices
When I listen to the voices
I listen to the voices
Of the saints and angels
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12 Comments
419 days ago
Wow. Thank you from the depths of a heart trying to admit that she hears those voices, too.
419 days ago
This was the first song on the album that stopped me in my tracks. Eric, your transparency here will be a blessing to many.
419 days ago
LOVE this one. It’s so beautiful.
419 days ago
This may be my favorite song on Birds. The lines by turns evoke memories of things told me by the unholy trinity (the world, the flesh, and the devil), and then decisively refute those things. The song hardly sounds like a victory march — but it’s an epic win.
419 days ago
Thanks for calling it Voices instead of voice… cuz on my worst day there is a GIANT committee shouting to me! LOL it certainly isn’t ust one… satan tries to take me out in a variety of voices that try to produce guilt, remorse and shame in addition to unworthiness!
Peace to you friend!
419 days ago
I love this song, especially the chorus. “Everything about my weakness that is strong” reminds me of how I like to think about my weakness at some moments as “the anointing of weakness.”… Realizing that even the part where the Lord does not seem to bail us out can be part of the story He is writing.
419 days ago
Jud, this one stopped me too. There are little things that make this song particularly great. The use of “shroud” and “disguise” in that second line. The bit of weariness expressed in the vocal on the first chorus. The lovely piano and the production that let it shine.
419 days ago
I love it when the dark voices are silenced! So proud of your courage and your gift my friend. So proud!
419 days ago
Anne Lamott wrote this about writing and reading, “Writing and reading decrease our sense of isolation. They deepen and widen and expand our sense of life: they feed the soul. When writers make us shake our heads with the exactness of their prose and their truths, and even make us laugh about ourselves or life, our buoyancy is restored. We are given a shot at dancing with, or at least clapping along with, the absurdity of life, instead of being squashed by it over and over again.”
This song has had the same effect on me. I read what its about just before I listened and cringed at the ‘almost my exact words’ story you tell. Voices, isolation, counseling. Thanks for being so brave and honest. I’m at the beginning of being vulnerable in opening my self up to others. As a minister I sometimes feel, probably by my own doing, like I have to have my stuff together. However, God is strong in our weakness. This song helps me, and I’m sure others, know we’re not alone battling the voices.
Thanks Eric.
419 days ago
Thanks for helping this pilgrim silence the voices and listen to the truth.
301 days ago
Thank you. Often what we feel has nothing to do with the Truth.
Thanks for reminding me to love the right Voice. And hate those voices that hate me.
293 days ago
That is so true.
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