The Wagon Wheel of Time?
I read here and there about what publishers are publishing a lot of now. Those can sometimes be opportunities for despair. A down-side of a market-driven approach is that broad readership is not always the best indicator of quality. Though, to strike back at the snob in us, it’s not always an indication of tripe either. This book called The Lord of the Rings has sold a few copies.
One of these popular categories for fiction these days is Amish Romance. You heard me: Amish. Romance. The Romance category in general mystifies me somewhat, and I have many memories of scoffing at the titles of some books of people I’ve been around–in ignorance, it must be admitted. Historical Romance was always a big hit with many ladies I knew growing up.
Just make some combo of the following words and you can come up with a title.
Love. Wind. Hope. Promise. Prairie. Softly. Gently. Whisper. Choice. Season. Did I already say Wind?
Anyway, I think my sister was reading some Historical Romance one day when we were kids and I was making one of my usual forays into misnaming the book using some combination of the words above.
And I got it right on. First try. Having never seen the book. That was a happy day for me. I think my sister even laughed.
I will allow that Fantasy probably sounds just as strange to people who don’t read it as Amish Romance sounds to me.
Anyway, the point of this isn’t to alienate the entire reading public, but to announce my intention to almost totally cave to trendiness in publishing and yet hold on to something of my own inclinations.
I am starting an Amish Fantasy series.
Your mission? To help me name my first book. Best Amish Fantasy book title in the comments section gets a hug from me, and an autographed copy of my autograph (that’s right, I will autograph my autograph and give it to you).
So help me out here. What’s a good name for the first in the series?
Note: This post was not intended to be hurtful either to Amish people, Amish Romance readers (which apparently is everyone), or Fantasy readers, or the readers of the Lost Ark. The views in this post do not necessarily represent the opinion of the staff and management of the Rabbit Room, S.D. Smith, or any of his slush funds, shadow governments, or multinational corporations, or his chain of hot-dog stand/tanning beds.
A.S. Peterson has crafted a work of compelling historical fiction which begs the question, “Can this really be a debut novel?” With dogged fidelity, Peterson captures the spirit, manners, and social conditions present during the American Revolutionary War. We meet colorful, credible characters who navigate the high seas of life and love, dependence and independence, war and peace, truth and consequence, and despite forays into dark places, The Fiddler’s Gun is beautiful, lyrical, and redemptive.
Walt Wangerin, Jr. strikes again.
Janner Igiby lives in Glipwood, a nothing little village in the land of Skree, on the edge of the Dark Sea of Darkness. Manhood is on the horizon, but Janner finds it hard to feel much hope for the future. Skree is ruled by foreign oppressors, snake men called the Fangs of Dang, servants of a shadowy emperor named Gnag the Nameless. The Skreeans are weak and weaponless. They’re even tool-less. Any Skreean who needs to use a hoe has to borrow one from the Fangs (and fill out the requisite paperwork). And from time to time, the Black Carriage arrives in Glipwood to carry young Skreeans toward an unknown fate across the Dark Sea.
I am not a fan of Civil War literature; in fact, I have always thought of it as one of those weird sub-genres for obsessive types. They’re almost like Trekkies with their re-enactments and maniacal devotion to detail. It’s just not my thing (although I’m secretly jealous that they get to dress up and shoot cannons).
A Randall Goodgame song is like a great independent movie. Characters deliver lines like they were lifted from a break room, a truck stop, or a downtown diner. Seemingly incongruent scenes are juxtaposed and plot isn’t obvious; in fact, narrative–a good story–is often more evident than linear plot lines. An indie movie, like a Randall Goodgame song, seems to tell itself. Rather than being rudely yanked by a chain through a sequence of contrived events, with a Randall Goodgame song, I have the sense that I’m being allowed a willing, but vicarious sneak peak into the real lives of his real characters.
Sara Groves irritates me just a little bit. With each album she makes, she moves from strength to strength and is always raising the bar with the quality, depth, and lyrical ambition of her work. And as a fellow artist, that’s just a little irritating since it means the rest of us are going to have to work harder if we hope to keep up.
I am outside on my front porch. The yellowed leaves are methodically falling from the black walnut in the yard, my breath is chalky visible in the recent cold snap, and lately I have been exploring the unpleasant nuances of the dark night of a soul - my own, to be exact. It is a strange passion we live out on this over-glorified orb of rock hurtling through space at some rate that I’m sure would astound me were I to know what it was. It is an odd series of days, I am realizing, when you question your own faith more than you question your own doubt. And, indeed, it is these nagging questions which have prompted me to share my thoughts on Andrew Peterson’s 2003 album, Love and Thunder.
11-year old Reuben Land, a character in the 2001 book Peace Like a River, provides narration that is clear-eyed and insightful, yet retains the magic, wonder, and innocence of youth. I found it easy to entrust my imagination to the author’s clever method of telling the story through the sensibilities of a pre-teen boy. An author with lesser skill would have either made the boy too smart-alecky for his own good or impossibly cute.
I just finished a book that upon closing it, I felt like it finished me in a sense. A quiet meditative book that reached down and stirred the deep waters in me. It’s Marilynne Robinson’s 2005 Pulitzer prize winner Gilead, given to me by my friend Andrew Peterson.
Eric Peters’s body of work addresses a diverse range of topics, but hope is a recurring theme that gently percolates in the midst of it all. And yet, somewhere between the 2001 masterpiece Land of the Living, and Scarce, the flavor of hope that Peters’s work emits has evolved closer to a tone that is more resolute than what came before. And though the complexion of hope has a broad range, the lyrics from Scarce–while intermittently contrite and timorous as in previous efforts, are now strengthened and bolstered by roots that have grown deeper, radiating an underlying grit and security.
Having read The Great Divorce many times over the years, I’ve found this classic from the great C.S. Lewis to be full of startling clarity and depth on the differences between Heaven and Hell. The only thing both have in common is that both begin in the human will; we can either let Heaven enter us and rule in us to blossom into love and goodness, or allow Hell to infect and reign in our hearts by the daily refusal to submit to Heaven.
Even if you haven’t heard Room to Breathe, its still likely you’ve heard Andy Gullahorn. He’s what I’d call a heavy lifter by trade. He writes lyrics, plays guitar, arranges vocals and adds production help to the work of artists like Jill Phillips and Andrew Peterson.
Allow me to preface this by telling you that I am a great despiser of gushing reviews. I’d much rather write (or read) a scathing dismemberment of the latest Brett Ratner film or Terry Goodkind book than suffer through four hundred words of overblown hyperbole about even the best of things. But when asked to write some thoughts on Frederick Buechner’s Godric, no amount of distaste for high praise was able to intervene. I hope you’ll take what I say with the understanding that I do not say it readily or lightly.
[...] the Second: This is also posted at the Rabbit Room. This entry was posted on Monday, August 10th, 2009 at 6:00 am and is filed under (Alleged) [...]
I’m all over it… How about… “The Dark Shunning”… or “The Wandering Wind”… or maybe “Black Hat, Softly”?
My favorite Amish romance title is “The Betrayal.” So simple - I’m ashamed to say I was surprised at the end.
May I suggest “Sarah’s Apron”, “Rebekah’s Cap”, “Rachel’s Cape” for a series?
Or “The Promise Ride”? “Lost Reins”?
I’m tempted to suggest Amish noir, but Witness already got awfully close to that.
Why not throw some Vampires into Amish Country and hit both publishing trends at once?
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090715/ap_on_en_ot/us_rel_christian_fiction
A friend of mine suggests “Bonnets and Bloodsuckers.”
“Little Hobbiton on the Prairie”
I guess I got that wrong: “Little Hobbit-Hole On The Prairie”
How about….”As the Butter Churns”……
Then, there’s the long-winded kind of title: “Hope’s Choice: How the Prairie Wind Whispers Softly of the Gentle Promise of Love”. Did I get all the words in? That should be a grand read, albeit long. . .
“Buggy Across the Galaxy” or maybe “Aliens in the Hay Bales” should do it, but they definitely lack pzazz. I’ll be thinking about this all day…
If you wish to sell a lot of books, you may want to consider using a female pseudonym. How about Stephanie R. Picoult?
Obadiah’s Wormhole
The Mennonite Conspiracy
Journey To The Center Of The Fields
The Chamber Of The Missing Mustaches
Ultimate Rake Fighter
First Barn On The Moon: A Space Trilogy
“Bonnets fade into Oblivion”
“Softly call the Buggy”
“Gray Space”
“No TV in the Atmosphere”
“The Missing Apron of Sarah Wincock”
Do we get to vote? I’m loving Charlotte’s “Softly Call the Buggy” and Aaron’s “Chamber of the Missing Mustaches.”
“The Sword in the Buggy”
“Knights of Lancaster”
“The Dragon in the Barn”
“The Elf in the Black Hat”
“A Fantasy Unplugged”
“The Farmer and the Faerie”
“Barngate”…………A portal where main character teleports to other Amish communities throughout the cosmos.
I had to check out the official Amish website to get a few ideas!
“Passion and Piety”
“Frowned Upon Behavior”
“Forbidden Behavior”
“Breaching the Ordnung”
“Bundles of Hope”
“The Shadow of the Barn Raising”
“Matha’s Magic Bonnet”
“The Two Silos”
“The Soft Wind Brings Doom’
“Obadiah and the TV of terror”
Moonraker
A Dinner Bell Ringeth
The Space Grain Series
The Enchanted Buggy
The Fancy Timepiece
Walketh Thee North! Or Be Scolded Handily
YES! I love some of these. Thanks for making me laugh! Perhaps you might consider:
“An Unencumbered Beard”
“Electricity Without Electricity”
“Herbie the Love Buggy”
And to sink really low:
“Amish You Were Here”
“Zipper Zeitgeist”
Would Bikini Buggy Wash: Vixens from Venus be inappropriate? I realize after the fact that I am including Scienti-fiction in the Fantasy category, but I hope it won’t get me kicked out of the Rabbit Room.
I’m going with Chad’s approach:
“The Children of Amman”
“Planet Plain”
“Rumschpringe”
But could we do better than Weird Al?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GsfVw9xxoNY
How about:
Hannah Yoder: Elf-Queen of Arcola
or,
Dragon’s Fire, Maiden’s Candle
Side note: my wife once lived in a heavily Amish area of Our Fair State, and her neighbor, an older, single Amish lady, would wait until it was dark, then fire up her gas mower to cut the lawn. If she saw buggy lights coming down the road, she turned off her mower and hid until the buggy disappeared into the distance, then went back to her mowing.
Sometimes she would dress up in “English” clothes, put on a wig, and go to the nearest casino.
Rebel Amish.
LEFT BEHIND the Times
I’m loving this. I think Chad’s “Breaching the Ordnung,” and Aaron’s “A Dinner Bell Ringeth” are my favorites so far.
“The Gentle Shunning”
“The Liberal Ordnung”
“The Patient English”
May I add: “Lord of the Schuflies”?
“The Chronicles of Lancaster”
My wife’s suggestion for the amish books– made me spit milk out my nose:
“So You Think You Can’t Dance.”
Russ, I was just wondering when we’d hear from you. Now I want you to hand the keyboard to your wife and let her hammer out some more milk spewing suggestions. Hilarious.
I’m afraid this will be hot competition to my Amish Vampire Romance!
How about this for a title:
The Tycoon’s Virgin Amish Mistress
The Curious Incident of The Buggy in the Night
“The Shunning of Jakob Swenson”
“A Swiftly Churning Butter”
“The Ordnung Alliance” The story of technological meltdown in the US and Amish rise to power… because they still know how to do stuff.
“Matthew Lapp and the enchanted Hatband” Of course, this one kinda means the story has to be about a hatband… unless you haven’t solidified a plot yet…
Black Hats, Red Hearts
Raising the Barn of Love
Only a Clothes Line Away
How about “Ezekiel’s Vision” ?
“Mennonite in Black”
Thanks for the vote, Jonathan! I am really liking Mennonite in Black and So You Think You Can’t Dance. LOL Btw, What’s an ordnug?
I think Aaron’s “Mennonite in Black” wins! Hands down!
There are many fine contenders, but I’m still all over Ultimate Rake Fighter.
Charlotte: as you can learn from the For Richer or For Poorer (the original Amish romance movie), “ordnung” is a German word meaning order/organization/arrangement and refers to both an autonomous community of Amish and the rules that govern said community.
*sigh* Apparently my creativity has departed in favor of pedantry today.
“As the Buggy Wheel Turns”
“Burning the Candle at both Ends”
“The Hay Loft Affair”
being from the Amish country I absolutely love this thread.
Too many Mennonite
The Mennonite Mafia
Chakey Unleashed
Chakey in Charge
Lancaster, I don’t even know her.
John Jacob Stoltzfus, his name is my name too
The Big Scrapple
Let’s get ready to Scrapple
Lard Times
Shoo Fly Pie of Love
I should fill in some definitions:
“Chakey” is an Amish term for friend/buddy.
Scrapple is the mystery breakfast food.
Shoo Fly Pie - I best heard as pecan pie minus the pecans. (molasses, brown sugar, etc).
I like Mennonite in Black and So You Think You Can’t Dance, which could have made chocolate smoothie come out my nose if I wasn’t being careful.
Hysterical thread. I can hear applause to “So You Think You Can’t Dance.”
How about:
Credenza Caress
Sea Without a Shore (stolen from AP)
Carpenter’s Night
By the way, if you call them the Amish (long A as in “hay” instead of the “ah” sound)… they don’t think it is funny at all.
Dan: in that case, how about Joanie Loves Chakey?
No?
Ohh…. thanks, Peter! Hey- I learned something on this thread! Now I feel like this time spent on crazy book titles was justified!
First of all, there is no such thing as a fantasy book. You have to do a series…
The Plowblade Saga
A Sowing of Meidung
A Deluge of Bonnets
Ordnang Summer
A Harvest of Beards
The Churning of the Ancients
The Shunt of Time
Eternal Rumspringa
My personal favorite:
The Man Who Shunned Time
(Also in my earlier post, I meant to say, you have to have a theme for the whole series)
“The Sound of Instrumental Music”
My late entry: “The Beard that Disappeared”