This song is about the spiritual and mental malaise that seems to follow me everywhere some years. There are sometimes people, places, and things attached—and sometimes it’s just an enveloping haze. The time I spend in this feeling is usually accompanied by a pretty critical mirror, showing me all that’s not working about who I am—guilt, shame, mistakes that follow me, loudly mocking me and kicking my heels. The usual suspects.
But like the black cloud that led the Israelites out of Egypt by day, and as a pillar of fire in the night, I want to ask whether this might be a natural part of being led through the valley of the shadow of death. Because that’s where we all live.
“Black Cloud” from Andrew Osenga’s Flesh EP [audio:BlackCloud.mp3]
hiding like a two-year-old and acting like I’m in control I’m waiting for cops to throw the warrant down and tell me that they’ve found me out I’m breaking a thousand little laws a thousand little flaws have found their way inside show me who I am deep beneath the skin still a spark divine still a spark divine?
there’s a black cloud over me, over me and I’m too proud to get on my knees, on my knees a dumb kid fighting to fight and I’m tired all the time under this black cloud
failing like a pharaoh just to glimpse the straight and narrow when it’s so clear buzzy, sick mosquito thinks he’s soaring like an eagle when the hand’s near
a thousand lessons learned a thousand tries to earn what’s already mine remind me who I am shining through my skin still a spark divine? still the spark divine
black cloud, when the day fades will you burn in flame? black cloud, when the night aches will you light my way?
black cloud over me, over me when the day fades will you burn in flame? black cloud I’m on my knees, on my knees when the night aches will you light my way? light my way