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On the Table: Pie (Example)

From the Proprietor: A sure sign that you’re friends with someone is when you don’t mind if they make fun of you. The Captains Courageous and I were on a trip a while back and we decided over dinner to figure out what each person’s worst physical feature was. One had to sit and watch the other two examine him, debate, and conclude which feature a caricature artist would exploit–like G.W. Bush’s pointy ears and upper lip in political cartoons. Only in the company of good friends can you sit and feel loved even while you’re being ridiculed. I’ll post more on that later, because there’s a drawing of each of us with the bad features exaggerated, and seeing it just might brighten your day.

That brings me to today’s post. After a few days of really heavy thinking about really heavy issues, I’m going to post something Pete threw together. We’re going to try something new. Once a week, Pete will pose a question and each of the Rabbit Room contributors will post a short answer or thought. Think of it like that show The View, only not annoying and shallow.

So for an example Pete worked up the following, in which he posed a question and imagined how some of us might answer. I hope you enjoy it as much as we did.

What pie is best and how has the loving of that pie influenced your life, work, and weight? Should you correctly answer that Cheesecake is the greatest of all known pies, please explain why it isn’t called Cheese Pie.

The Proprietor – “Clearly the Greatest of Pies is that of the Pecan, the eating of which has made me a very well-rounded person…erm…that is to say…a person with a broad range of knowledge, experience and, well, pies.”


Ron Block – “Clearly the most proper pie is the Key-Lime because the key is indwelling within us and only with a proper sloughing off of the old man’s nasty little meat pies can one ever come to the full realization of that which is indwelt within the nature of “I’ pie itself. (cont’d on page 394)”


Evie Coates – “oh, dear! there are just so many wonderful pies to choose from. how will i ever decide. how about this scrumptious rhubarb one that i just baked today, isn’t it beautiful to look at? let me take a picture. wait a minute is that my ‘shift’ key? oh, my! i seem to have baked it into the pie…and it is yuuummm. where’s my cigar.”


Johnathan Rogers – “Pies? Feechies don’t know ’bout no pies. My mama baked what? That’s it, we’s about to tussle!”


Curt McLey – “All these pies are so magnificently created that I feel the only way to determine any clear winner is to to examine them each closely and give each one a proper exegesis. The first pie on the table seems to be the Pumpkin and while it has certainly been a staple of pie culture since the earliest known pie-peoples began to make them, it has never been particularly savory in this reviewer’s estimation. Though it does have a most proper orangish color, its consistency cannot be fully appreciated due to its clear similarity to congealed oatmeal. Now this in and of itself would not be of any consequence were it not so obviously superior the to pie that follows it, the custard pie…”


Eric Peters – “!@%#, I didn’t know we had a test today.”

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